First of all, you want to really know what powerful goals are. A powerful goal is one that gets you motivated and can change your life in the process. Something like going back to school because you really want to be a teacher can be a powerful goal. Wanting to learn how to build a business so that you can have your own financial future in your hands can be a powerful goal.

The more powerful a goal is, the more we will be naturally excited at the merer thought of achieving it. We won't need to have constant reminders of why we are pursuing this particular goal, we will know this just by the feeling that we get when we can mentally see it being accomplished.

ALL GOALS CAN BE POWERFUL GOALS!

Every goal has the potential to be a life changing thing. Losing 20 pounds of excess fat now can lead to a healthier life and a longer life longevity for you and you will get to experience more and more things in your life. Running your own business may help you to get rich. Or you may be able to employ a family member who is in desperate need of a job and therefore be changing their life as well.

You must set powerful goals if you want your life to change. You must make sure that the mere thought of actually attaining this particular goals gets you so excited, you feel like a kid again. Or that it makes you feel like you are on top of the world!

Don't you want to feel this way?

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I would like to share some tips that I have learned from my experience and experience of others who have worked hard to quit smoking pot. Everyone responds to the drug differently so this article is written for those who have been unsuccessful quitting marijuana in the past. It contains tips and tricks that are helpful if you want to learn how to quit smoking weed.
Number 1: Make weed your enemy. You need to acknowledge that marijuana is a problem and is your enemy and is robbing you of your ability to function to the best of your ability. It is a crutch keeping you from being your best self. Read up on the negative effects of marijuana and think about what it's actually doing to. How are your lungs? How is your relationship with your family? Figure out and write down all of the reasons weed is bad in your life.

Number 2: Get Motivated. Really determine why you want to quit smoking. Creating a high level of motivation can be difficult for stoners, because marijuana makes many people couch potatoes. You need to build up a level of motivation that will last you a lifetime. Most important are the first days and weeks after you decide to quit. Think about, or write down, all of reasons you would like to quit, and all the benefits that come with quitting. You may also wish to set a reward for milestones that you have achieved along the way. These are keep steps if you want to discover how to quit smoking weed. You need clear reasons. If you have made it marijuana the enemy, prepare for battle!

Number 3: Be Committed. For a lot of different ways that you can maintain your commitment to quitting marijuana. You may decide to meditate daily, take a walk to clear your mind, do yoga or tai chi, or any number of activities that will solidify your commitment to your goal. Use this time to refresh your motivation and review your progress. you'll probably find that you have more time, or can use your time more effectively once it stopped. You may also wish to make new commitments to fill in those time gaps, so that you do not mess up and relapse.

Number 4: Be Prepared. Many of us have tried to quit before in the past, and have failed. One of the main reasons that many people fail to quit smoking weed, is that they lack a plan or a course of action once they have committed to the goal. It is very important to write down how you plan to quit. You particularly need to plan for the first week or so. Withdrawal from marijuana, can be very difficult for some people. Common symptoms include anxiety, insomnia, and a lack of appetite. If you prepare for all of these things, you will be more likely to succeed as you will not be caught off guard.

* Are you sick of being a slave to your addiction?
* Have you tried and failed to quit before?
* Do you want to learn how to quit smoking weed for good?

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No doubt you have a number of how to covert hypnosis questions. How to hypnotize someone discreetly, outside of their conscious awareness, how to make people do anything you tell them to. These are all common questions that people ask when finding out about covert hypnosis.
The first thing that you must understand in order to use covert hypnosis is just how the mind operates. This is what's known as the 'theory of mind'. The theory of mind is basically an explanation for how the mind enters into a state of trance, and responds to hypnotic suggestions.

The mind is basically divided into two main parts, the conscious and the subconscious. Suggestions that we make to someone when they're in hypnosis are sent from their conscious into their subconscious.

When we enter into hypnosis we basically enter into a state known as a 'trance'. A trance is a state our mind enters whereby it becomes susceptible to external suggestions and influence. The type of suggestions we respond to when in this state of trance depends greatly upon just how deep in hypnosis we are.

The deeper we fall into hypnosis you see, the more vulnerable we become to external suggestions. This is what's known as 'deepening', and a well trained hypnotist will be able to guide a subject so deep into hypnosis, that the subject would be willing to do almost anything, provided the action does not go against the subject's fundamental morals and beliefs (in hypnosis, we cannot ever convince someone to do anything against their fundamental morals and beliefs).

Now all covert hypnosis is, is a matter of applying these same techniques of guiding someone into a trance, and planting suggestions within their subconscious, in a discreet setting. You do this outside of the person's consciousness, bypassing what's known as the 'critical mind'. The critical mind is the part of the conscious mind that critically analysed everything. If you can plant your suggestions in a subtle enough manner so that the person does not even realise you planted such suggestions, then the person will not have any knowledge that you're hypnotising them.

This is essentially how covert hypnosis works, but of course the theory behind it, and the techniques you learn to apply it, are considerably more in-depth. Hopefully you've found this 'how to covert hypnosis guide' to answer a couple of your questions on just exactly what covert hypnosis is, and how it works.

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Even if you do not fully understand how hypnotism works, you likely can see how you can benefit if you learn how to hypnotize. Hypnosis is, in essence, verbal mind control. It is the ability to get people's behaviors to mold to your will, whether on purpose (in the case of those that go to hypnotists in order to quit smoking, lose weight, etc.) or not on purpose (as in the case of conversational hypnosis, where one's ability to speak using certain words and behaviors allows you to control their thought process).

When you learn how to hypnotize via conversational hypnosis, you are able to hypnotize someone without their knowledge. This allows you to take control over a number of different situations, whether it is winning over a new client or simply meeting someone in a bar and talking them into a first date.

Does This Type of Hypnosis Work?

Conversational/Covert hypnosis is surprisingly effective, because the brain - as complicated as it is - is very process based. We know what the brain does and we can study how it works. Because of that, those that have studied this type of hypnotism have been able to learn how to hypnotize someone simply by catching their brain off guard, essentially making it so that it is more malleable to the power of suggestion.

For obvious reasons, the type of television mind control that we see done by magicians is not something that can be implemented by the average individual. Rarely do we have a group of people willing to sit on a chair and wait for us to do strange movements in front of their face. People are not that patient.

That is why conversational hypnosis - which arguably has more real world use anyway - is a better method to do if you want to learn how to hypnotize. It allows you to hypnotize unwilling people, those that may not even realize that they are bending to your will, which will allow you to get them to do the things that you want them to do without having to sit them in a chair and perform some blatant mind control techniques.

Learning this type of hypnosis technique is not easy, but if you study it thoroughly you will likely find that the results are even greater than you can imagine.

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Goal Planning-Achieving balance in a person's life requires assessment of one's goals and priorities. This translates into sitting down in a quiet atmosphere and taking just a few minutes to think about "What are my priorities in life? What could I never live without?" When one is clear about the things that are important to them in life, it is easier to determine which errands, assignments, and projects to take time out to complete or to dump or delegate. You will then be able to do the things you love to do. Thinking about goals is a crucial step in striking balance for our busy lives.

Delegate-A powerful tool that many people overlook or ignore is delegating. Everyone wants to grow and learn new skills. When given responsibility, most people are motivated to do a good job. Colleagues, students, children, whoever you delegate to, with your clear instruction and guidance you can trust that the job will be completed well. Mothers do not often realize that children of all ages are indeed capable of completing many tasks and often love doing them.

Self Time-We must believe that we are valuable people. On an airplane, we are instructed that in case oxygen masks are needed, first administer the O2 to yourself and then to your children. Why? Because if we do not get what we need, we are of no value to another person. This applies to all of the people that demand our attention. Create boundaries and set aside uninterrupted self-time. Their questions can wait. Respect yourself.

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Are you one of those people who wake up in the morning still feeling sluggish and tired? I think most people will be able to relate to you. I know I used to feel this way all of the time. Not anymore. Would you like to know how I stopped feeling this way? Then keep reading.
Here are 5 Simple Tips That Will Have You Waking Up With More Energy

1. Go to bed earlier. This may sound simple and like a duh statement, but most people keep staying up late and wondering why they still feel tired in the morning. Turn off the T.V. and go to bed, silly.

2. Drink water before you go to bed. Dry heat especially this time of year can slowly dehydrate your body. When you feel dehydrated, you have less energy. Drink a glass or two of water within an hour of bedtime and you won't feel so thirsty in the morning

3. Eat a nutritious breakfast. How are you going to feel full of energy if you skip breakfast or fill up on junk in the morning. Eat some fruit and protein and skip out on the sugary stuff. That way you don't crash from the sugar high a couple of hours later.

4. Exercise. Do a couple of simple exercises to get your blood and energy flowing. Jog in place or stretch for a few minutes. You don't have to do a full head on 30 minutes with weights or anything like that. Just get your body moving.

5. Live with passion. Why? If you are motivated to start your day because you are living with passion, you will find it easy to shrug off any bit of sluggishness that you feel. Get yourself excited about each day.

These are just five of the things that have worked for me. Try each one out for a couple of weeks and see how much better you feel.

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Most of the articles I see that discuss motivation talk about sports. But we average Joes and Jills are not playing sports. We just have to get out of bed everyday, go to work, and try to live. We don't have a coach working with us and a bunch of fans cheering us on. There are no big endorsement contracts, no uniforms, and seldom the thrill of victory. How do we find motivation?

It seems to me that most people want to find the motivation to do something (or to stop doing something). Let me give you some examples:

Lose weight or eat healthier. Stop smoking. Get rid of clutter or be more organized. Get out of debt. Exercise. Make better use of their time.

I don't think what is needed is necessarily motivation. I think what is needed is true desire, discipline, and information.

What do I mean? True desire - you have to really, truly want it. It starts here. It's not going to be easy, but don't lie to yourself. If deep down you really would rather have that new pair of shoes than pay off that credit card - I can't help you. You've got to get this straight in your own head. You have to decide what you really want and go for it. When athletes take the field they want to win. Period. You have to have that level of clarity and desire.

You don't hear much about discipline anymore and that's a damn shame. Because discipline is what you're going to need. The discipline to get out of bed when you don't feel like it and go to the gym. The discipline to not buy those shoes and put that money in the bank. The discipline to go to night school when your friends are out partying. Every successful person in the history of the world could practice discipline. Discipline is doing what might suck in the short term to get you where you want to go in the long term. No discipline equals no success. There is no easy way out.

Information is vital. Too many people fail because they don't know what they need to do to succeed. They don't realize they will NEVER get out of debt paying the minimum balance on their credit cards. They don't know that salad dressing, cheese and bacon they just dumped on their salad destroyed their diet. You don't need more motivation - you need more information.

Here's your "motivation:"

1. Commit or let it go. You have got to be able to say "I will do whatever it takes to do ______________." And you have to mean this. If there is any doubt in your mind, come back when you're ready. Don't waste your time until then.

2. Get smart. You obviously aren't that smart about this particular topic. Hey - there's no shame in that!! If you could see my library, you'd know there's a whole lotta stuff I'm not too smart about! But you need to quit thinking you have all the answers. Get a basic book on managing your finances or on weight lost or organization. Whatever it is you think you need "motivation" for. Anything that promises you a quick fix is a lie and a bad source. You are not going to become rich, skinny or organized overnight. You need to get smart, not suckered.

3. Set up systems. Automatic payroll deduction, making your lunch the night before, immediately sorting the mail over the trash can, deleting all email by the end of the day - you have got to make this a no brainer. Your systems will start to form habits and the new behaviors will become easier.

4. DISCIPLINE!!!! These systems are going to be hard at first, they may be hard for a long time. Even the life long athlete has days when they don't want to workout. That's where discipline comes in. You have to work your system even when you don't want to. Now - I don't mean that if you have an injury, you keep working out. I mean if it's cold outside and you just don't feel like it, you man up and go. There's a difference between taking care of yourself and being undisciplined, and we all know it. This is the difference between those who get what they want out of life and those who don't. And the only person who can do this for you is you.

Don't get discouraged - what I find is that the more you practice discipline - the easier it gets. You become stronger. Your self-esteem rises. You realize that you CAN get out there and do anything - you just have to push yourself.

5. Keep on top of it. Life happens - sometimes things will occur that will throw you off track. You may have a health issue or you may have to go out of town for work and things may pile up on your desk. This has nothing to do with your discipline. The clutter comes back, the exercise regime can't be completed, you regain some weight. That will happen, it's okay. As soon as you can, get those systems going again. The longer you wait, the harder it will be. Do what you can as soon as you can.

6. Fight the P Sisters - procrastination and perfectionism. Don't put it off till tomorrow. Better to do a little today than nothing. It DOES NOT have to be perfect. A short workout is better than no workout. A small binge is better than a huge binge. Get back on track as soon as you can.

You might read this and think - but I just want motivation to get out of bed and go to work or to be a better parent. You know what I'm going to say? Look at those steps in that context - are you really committed to loving your job? If not, don't look for me to motivate you into it! If you are, are there things you could learn to make you better at it? To help you advance? If you don't know, learn the answer!

Set up systems - if you love your co-workers, make sure you have a fun lunch planned with one each day. The discipline is that you have to fight to keep your fire about anything - you have to keep learning, keep growing, keep reminding yourself of what you like, etc. etc.

Do you see? These steps really do apply to anything you want to be "motivated" about. So there it is - stop waiting for that magic "motivation" and get on it!

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Aerobic and Anaerobic Comparison

There are countless forms of aerobic exercise. However, the most common format is when it is performed at a steady pace and over a relatively long period of time. To illustrate the point, consider the following examples:

Running a long distance at a moderate pace is classified as an aerobic exercise, whereas sprinting is not.

Playing singles tennis, which involves almost continuous activity, is typically regarded as an aerobic activity, whereas playing golf or doubles tennis, which involves brief bursts of high activity punctuated with more frequent breaks, is not regarded as predominantly aerobic.

Accordingly, some sports may be designated as inherently "aerobic." On the other hand, some aerobic exercises, such as fartlek training or aerobic dance classes, are designed specifically to improve aerobic capacity and fitness.

Fartlek means "speed play" in Swedish. Most Fartlek programmes last for at least 45 minutes. They can include anything from aerobic walking to anaerobic sprinting. Fartlek training is normally synonymous with running, but can include almost any kind of exercise.

Becoming involved in a regular programme of aerobic exercises can produce some very desirable benefits, such as:

Strengthening the respiratory muscles that will help to improve the flow of air in and out of the lungs.

Not only strengthening but also enlarging the heart muscles which will help to improve the efficiency of its pumping action and reduce the heart rate when at rest.

Toning up the muscles throughout the body.

Increasing the efficiency of the circulatory system and reducing blood pressure.

Substantially increasing the number of red blood cells in the body which in turn assists in transporting oxygen throughout the body.

Improving overall mental health. This may include reducing the level of stress and helping to lower the possibility of depression.
Accordingly, the aforementioned point to the fact that aerobic exercise can assist greatly in reducing the risk of dying from heart disease. Further, high-impact aerobic activities, which include jogging or jumping rope, are able to stimulate bone growth. Also, they are known to reduce the risk of osteoporosis. This is a disease in which the bone is liable to break at the slightest opportunity.
Apart from the health benefits, there are many performance benefits. Consider the following:
Endurance will be increased as a result of the storage of more energy molecules, such as fats and carbohydrates, within the muscles.

Neovascularization, which is the formation of functional microvascular networks with red blood cell perfusion, of the muscle sarcomeres, which give skeletal and cardiac muscles their striated appearance, to increase blood flow through the muscles.

If the rate of aerobic metabolism was increased within muscles, this would allow a greater proportion of energy for intense exercise to be generated aerobically.

If muscles are able to use fats during exercise more easily, this will help to preserve intramuscular glycogen, which is a form of glucose, and functions as the secondary short term energy storage.

Muscles recovering from high intensity exercise being made much easier

Aerobics – How To Succeed

Peter Radford writes Articles with Websites on a wide range of subjects. Aerobics Articles cover Background, History, Types of Exercise, Benefits, Aerobic Capacity, Other Issues, Commercial Success. Website has many more.
View his Website at: aerobics-how-to-succeed.com
View his Blog at: aerobics-how-to-succeed.blogspot.com

By: peter radford

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First of all, emotional abuse is more common than what most people are willing to admit. How to stop emotional abuse is easer said than done, but it is not impossible to do. You just need to find the way to the core of the problem and begin working on it with a good course of therapy, just as you would if you were a victim of physical abuse.

According to experts in the field of study of emotional abuse, emotionally abused children, verbally-abused kids, can carry the unnoticeable scars of emotional abuse throughout their lives without anyone really noticing or they, themselves, ever getting treatment as a victim of this type of abuse, which lots of experts say is almost as bad as physical abuse. First of all, emotional abuse is verbal, and one very insightful article that I've read on the subject is written by an attorney who represents children who have been abused and knows the signs and symptoms of this debilitating psychological condition.

The article that I speak of is entitled You Carry the Cure in Your Own Heart, written by Andrew Vachss in Parade Magazine in 1994. Vachss is an attorney who represents abused and neglected children, and he asserts that most people do not know how to cope with or get treatment for this very real and common issue. Within the article Vachss gives good advice on just what the cause, the symptoms, and the cure is for people who have suffered from this humiliating and debilitating abuse, which many times begins in childhood and is carried on throughout a victim's life, ruining their chances at forming intimate and good relationships throughout their lives. To read this very insightful article, go online to the following URL: http://www.vachss.com/av_dispatches/disp_9408_a.html.

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When you’re looking for a medical specialist, it’s sometimes really difficult because you don’t know who’s good and who isn’t. Sometimes you can rely on a friend or relative who’s seen somebody… or you can call the local hospital because sometimes they’ll give you the names of people who specialize.

Unfortunately, these methods are not necessarily the best ways to locate somebody who is really skilled.

I’ve written a previous article on how to find an arthritis expert… and that should be mandatory reading if you’re looking for a top-notch person. (The 12 Things You Must Look For In An Arthritis Expert)

This new article will add a few other things.

Do you know what training an arthritis specialist (rheumatologist) has gone through? Let me tell you… Four years of college, four years of medical school, three to four years of internal medicine residency, and three years of fellowship in arthritis training. And several board exams have to be passed along the way culminating in the internal medicine boards and the rheumatology boards. Many candidates don’t pass the first time around.

You should ask if they passed the first time or not. You can maybe excuse somebody for not passing once (although even that is a bit much) but if they have had to take the exams over and over, then you might want to be a bit leery. After all you don’t want to see a doctor who’s a few fries short of a Happy Meal!

This article will give you the essential things you need to look for in an arthritis specialist.

1. Graduate of an American medical school. American medical education is still the finest in the world.

2. Residency training at a University teaching hospital.

3. Fellowship training at a top university or better yet, a biomedical research center like the National Institutes of Health.

4. Reputation. What do you hear about the doctor from his or her patients?

5. Education. Is this specialist still doing research and continuing to publish papers… the best do.

6. How many papers published- 25-50 is a minimum.

7. How does their practice run? Is the staff courteous, efficient, and do they seem to know what they’re doing?

8. Do the employees appear to enjoy their work? There’s nothing worse than walking up to a receptionist or other staff person who treats you like a piece of chuck roast.

9. When you are in the office do the physician and the staff give you informational literature about your case? Do they answer your questions?

10. Do they return your calls the same day?

11. When you start a new medicine do they go over the things should look out for as far as side effects?

12. Do they refer tough cases out? Often, a doctor who has ego problems may not refer out a patient who should be referred out. An arthritis specialist can’t be a specialist in all types of arthritis- there are too many of them. For instance, I am an expert in rheumatoid arthritis and osteoarthritis. While I can take care of patients with mild lupus, I refer out more serious cases because I don’t really feel I have the expertise or the energy any longer to take care of these complicated patients… so I refer them to a University hospital.

13. Are they careful about checking laboratory tests regularly?

14. Is research being done? The best arthritis specialists do research. They have their hand on the pulse of what is happening in the forefront of their specialty.

15. Are they invited to speak nationally? Obviously, a person who is a nationally recognized speaker has the knowledge and respect to have earned this right.

16. Do they care? You can tell by how the doctor talks to you and follows up with you. Do they stay in touch? For instance, we send out a monthly newsletter to keep patients informed, entertained, and in touch.

17. Are they trustworthy? In your heart of hearts, do you feel they have your best interest at heart?

18. Are they cheap or are they expensive? Doctors who sign up with insurance plans are weak and usually second rate. The best arthritis experts don’t sign insurance contracts because they don’t want to work for the insurance company. They want to work for the patient and do what’s right for them. Not surprisingly, they also are expensive because they are the best. Remember… in life you get what you pay for.

Let’s face it… picking the right doctor isn’t like looking for laundry detergent. This is particularly true when it comes to arthritis, many forms of which can lead to crippling disability as well as early death.

The right arthritis expert can make the difference between your leading a long, productive, and enjoyable life… or dealing with a progressive, crippling, agonizingly painful existence.

Like Yogi Berra once said, “When you come to a fork in the road, take it…”

It’s your life and your health that’s on the line.


About The Author
Nathan Wei, MD FACP FACR is a rheumatologist and Director of the Arthritis and Osteoporosis Center of Maryland. He is a Clinical Assistant Professor of Medicine at the University of Maryland School of Medicine. For more info: http://www.arthritis-treatment-and-relief.com/arthritis-treatment.html Arthritis Treatment

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by: Ivan Campuzano

How to make many friends easily..

With every goal you have in life, people will always be a critical part of it. How fast you reach your goals depends on how well you deal with people and the level of influence you have on them. In order to really influence people you must become a person who is likable. How do you become likable? You must have a sincere interest in other people. Every person on this earth wants to feel important, so you need to treat everyone with the up most importance, because they deserve it. Remember no one is better than you and you are not better than anyone, we are all human beings who deserve the same amount of respect.

Becoming Likable:

Setting the Stage

Your goal in meeting people should be to consciously be the first to initiate and set the stage for conversation. Most people are hesitant to be the first, don’t be like most people step out of your comfort zone. I know that if you are a shy person that this can be one of the hardest things for you to do, but the more you do it, the more you condition your self for it to become second nature. As a small kid I used to be really shy but I noticed that the kids that where outgoing tended to be the happier kids so I began to step out of my comfort zone and now I feel I can walk up to almost anyone. This is going to take time; things don’t happen over night but don’t let this discourage you. Many people feel that for you to become proficient in something takes around five years. Don’t waste anytime, start today and each day after that will get easier. Each different experience will later serve as a reference to remind you, that you can approach almost anyone. By being the first to initiate conversation you also automatically have a certain degree of control, you are able to draw people into your own rhythms. Have you ever noticed how persuasive people are able to seduce you to their ways, dictating your body language and basically synchronizing it to theirs? This is because people naturally imitate other people as a way of communicating with the other person. So if you are the first you get to decide what angle to approach. So if the person you are approaching appears sad, approach them with a big confident smile. Odds are they will slowly begin to smile; you will automatically change their mood. Now you will have a better chance of having a better conversation.

In setting the stage you will need to train your self to pick up any subtle signals that the person you are approaching is giving off. With time you will be able to sum up a person in a blink of an eye and from what your subconscious catches use it help you set the stage. This will require you to have an open mind and immerse your self in as many different worlds/cultures as possible. That’s why I never limit my self to one particular set of friends. I have friends from all sorts of backgrounds. I have friends who are skaters, basketball players, artists, musicians, writers, etc. By having so many friends with diverse interests I quickly learn about their worlds. By knowing what kind of stage to set up you will know how to get the other person to think very highly of you. For example by being observant you will catch the subtleties in the way a person appears to be (The way he is dressed, body language, tone of voice, language, etc.) which will help you to imagine placing your self in there shoes. By really imagining what being that person is like it will give you a good idea of how he/she is feeling. This in turn helps you get a better idea of what appproach to use when trying to communicate effectively with them. When I am able to pick up persons subtleties I will know what topics, questions, and general things that appeal to them which gives me information to work with in the process of winning that person as a friend. Like if know this person is really passionate about cars, I will ask a question with the minimum knowledge I have about something that he knows or thinks he knows a lot about.

Now you set the stage for Mike who will love to tell me exactly why the Mitsubishi EVO is better. When someone is knowledgeable about something it’s in their nature to tell you because it is one more opportunity for them to show how great or smart they are. You have to cater to their ego and never test or contradict their ideas, because their ego will not accept someone who is supposed to know less tell them they are possibly wrong. If I would have told him that I heard that the Subaru WRX is better, we would have just gotten in an argument that he would not have backed out of. But I didn’t and now they will love me for it, because I was taking interest into what he enjoys.

Body Language

Whenever you approach someone for the very first time your body language will do most of the talking and the other person will immediately have a first impression of you. So you must always be aware that whatever you say your body is also in agreement. If you say one thing and your body says the opposite you will come out as someone fake. We have all seen the girl that walks up to another girl and says “I’m so happy to see you…how you been?....you look so good…” but their body language is saying “what are you doing here….I’m not really listening to what your saying” this is easily seen and can be one of the rudest things you can do in trying to make new friends. Always approach someone with open gestures and a smile. If you approach someone with crossed arms, this will automatically make the other person defensive and question your motives. Approach them with open arms and a gentle smile, smiling is infectious if the other person has a stern look on their face the moment youapproach them with a smile you will gradually notice that they will smile too. This usually sets it up for a good conversation because both people are in good moods. Try this - if you’re in a neutral mood right now, put a big smile on your face for no reason if you pay attention you can feel your body changing and your mood immediately start to change. People who are in good moods will place a lot more importance to what you have to say.

Questions and Listening

Your next goal is to sincerely try to find out as much as you can about the person. Ask quality questions; find out what is important to the person, goals, beliefs, interests, etc. The key is to be sincere so the person feels comfortable and is more likely to open up. Try to have a calm demeanor refrain from being overly eager as this might scare the person. You must be able to match the mood of the person. If the person is excited to tell you a story you must become excited as well. If the person is telling you a sad story you must show sincere empathy. Be open minded and really listen to the person.

Listening: Try to listen at least twice as much as you talk. Listening requires more than just pretending to listen or simply hearing a person talk. Listening and hearing are two completely different things and the person can tell if you’re really listening to them, or simply hearing them speak. Being a good listener is a skill, you must become an active listener. Remember this is all about the other person, who cares if you don’t get to talk about your self. In the end the other person will love you for it. They will tell their friends

“Man I really enjoyed talking to that person”….why is that? Was he a very interesting person? “You know what…I really don’t know why…I really don’t know much about him”

This shouldn’t bother you because in the end you greatly benefited from the situation as well. If you’re an effective listener you will gain a better understanding of that person’s thoughts, perspectives, feelings and actions. You have to remember that most people would rather talk than listen, but most of the time this person is not very influential. Take this as an opportunity to become more persuasive and influential.

Sometimes the problem with most people is that listening to them doesn’t have much value. They feel that in order to get people to like them they must do a great deal of the talking. Think about that for a minute, how do you like it when another person is talking so much that when you try and say something they still keep talking. You eventually quit listening to that person because you got to annoyed. Now sometimes you don’t need to do most of the listening, you constantly need to evaluate the situation. Sometimes people really want to hear what you have to say. In this situation still try and get the other person involved and flip around the question that they just asked you.

People who talk too much

1. People always talk about them behind their backs

2. In group settings they feel they always need to say something just to feel like they are contributing.

3. Usually have very big egos

4. They ask questions that they already have the answers too

5. Because they are so focused on having something to say aren’t even listening to what someone is saying.

People Who Listen Effectively

1.Get the whole picture, than they can act accordingly.

2.Everyone loves a good listener so you will make tons of friends.

3.No one talks bad about you, who ever said “man that kid just loves to listen too much”

Good listening is going to really take effort. The reason is that people can think a lot faster than people can speak. What ends up happening is that you begin to think of other things as that person is speaking. Than you become consumed with those thoughts. Next thing you know the other person asks you “So than do you think I did the right thing”. You weren’t listening so you have no idea what to say. This is one of biggest turn offs in trying to become friends with that person.

Things to avoid when Listening

Don’t Interrupt

Because you have the upper hand by thinking faster than someone who is speaking, you will become tempted to interrupt. Don’t because the other person will get the feeling that you don’t care what they are saying and want to bring back the topic of conversation to you. The other person might also have great momentum going in telling you a story, but when you interrupt them their story doesn’t carry as much feeling when they go back to speaking. You also show that you are one of those people who enjoy speaking more than being a good listener. When you interrupt you are also making assumptions of what you think the other person is about to say. This might cause you to miss out completely different information. Because you interrupted them the other person might not even want to continue telling you about it.

Don’t Finish Other Peoples Sentences

Don't Offer Advice too Soon

Compliments + Appreciation

The way to make people feel important is through sincere compliments and appreciation. Most people go out their way to do something, to get other people to notice them, yet most people don’t. Get in the habit of noticing the little things about people. In the end the little things are what matter and what end up making a person unique so pay attention. Next time you see them, be the first to give them a sincere compliment on something even as simple as their hair cut. By making other people feel good about them selves you should also feel good for doing it, it’s a win win situation.

Many times people walk around with the mentality that other people owe them something, nobody owes you anything. Whenever anybody does anything for you show your appreciation and let them know you don’t take anything for granted. Be spontaneous get the person a small gift when they don’t expect it.

Encouragement

Once you find out what is truly important to someone you must provide encouragement. Everyone has dreams and aspirations. Be the one who encourages them to pursue their goals. Any insight or information that’s empowering will provide a boost to their confidence. Most people are so afraid of failure that they will not pursue their goals. They will give you all the reasons why their goals are out of reach. Your goal should be to switch their focus on the negative reasons to the ways how they can make it happen. You have to remember that whatever we focus on becomes our reality, so when you focus only on the negative aspects that’s all you will see. When they give you a reason why they can’t do it, ask them if that’s really a reason or a mere excuse. If they are excuses show them how destructive it is to be in this mental state. Make them realize that all their hopes and dreams are in danger all because of petty excuses. One of the best feelings you will get in dealing with people, is when you get another person excited about his goals or ideas. Now that the person is excited you need to point them in the right direction. Help them research the world they want to be in; find out as much relevant information. Help them create a plan and deadlines that will help them reach their goals. Start with small attainable goals, this will help them gain momentum and than move onto more challenging goals. By being active in the whole process you will build a deeper and more influential relationship with that person. He will not see you as a mere friend but as an ally in their journey to success.

Plan and Organize Social Events

One of the best ways to develop a meaningful experience with someone is through a social event. Whenever you participate in an event or trip your relationship with those people will become even greater. When I studied abroad in Prague I have never developed such strong relationships in such a short amount of time. I met people from all over the world and on the weekends we would take trips to other countries. On these trips I made incredible bonds, because everyone was on an adventure of experiencing new things together. Experiences are always magnified with more people involved. Just think about when you are watching a funny movie all by yourself you begin to laugh but than realize no one is there to enjoy the moment with you and your experience is quickly diminished .

I hope all these pointers will help everyone become more influential, take care and much success to everyone!

http://www.howtogetyourshineon.com

About The Author
Ivan Campuzano

A recent Colorado State University graduate with a degree in Finance. While at CSU Ivan studied abroad for a semester at the School of Economics (VSE) in Prague. Prague was such an amazing experience for Ivan, that he decided to move back and pursue several of his dreams.Interests: investing,trading,reading,traveling,music,meeting new people,and looking for new opportunities.

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